This is a journal of the journey the Lord is leading me on... it will be filled with ramblings, thoughts, conversations with the Lord. (However He chooses to speak to me, often it has been through you.) For several months now He has given me my China Heart Baby, Isabella.... and He has been telling me (I think... Hense the tital) that our family is going to serve Him in China one day. Ministering to His body, to the precious orphans and sharing the Love and truth of Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior to those who do not know Him yet.... He is changing me.... He has a plan..... He is fanning the flame burning in me as I continue to seek Him and ask Him to breathe on that flame until it becomes an ALL CONSUMING FIRE! To God be the glory... Have Thine Own Way, LORD, Have Thine Own Way.....

Monday, May 25, 2009

God's Best! His perfect will for you~

Now the children of Reuben and the children of Gad had a very great multitude of livestock; and when they saw the land of Jazer and the land of Gilead, that indeed the region was a place for livestock, the children of Gad and the children of Reuben came and spoke to Moses, to Eleazar the priest, and to the leaders of the congregation, saying, "ataroth, Dibon, Jazer, Nimrah, Heshbon, Elealeh, Shebam, Nebo and Beon, the country which the LORD defeated before the congregation of Israel, is a land for livestock, and your servants have livestock." therefore they said, "If we have found favor in your sight, let this land be given to your servants as a possession. Do not take us over the Jordan."
And Moses said to the children of Gad and to the children of Reuben: "Shall your brethren go to war while you sit here? Now why will you discourage the heart of the children of Israel from going over into the land which the LORD has given them? Thus your fathers did when I sent them away from Kadesh Barnea to see the land. For when they went up to the Valley of Eshcol and saw the land, they discouraged the heart of the children of Israel, so that they did not go into the land which the LORD had given them. So the LORD's anger was aroused on that day, and He swore an oath, saying, "Surely none of the men who came up from Egypt, from twenty years old and above, shall see the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they have not wholly followed Me, except Caleb the son of Jephunneth, the Kenizzite, and Joshua the son of Nun, for they have wholly followed the Lord.
Numbers 32: 1-12


So often we see something, a circumstance, a way of life, and it is pleasing to us. We think, "This is what I want." we claim it as our own. God is telling us to follow Him! But we, like spoiled, all knowing children say, "No, Lord, I want this!" This is what we had hoped for, always wanted. This is what we disobediently, unfaithfully SETTLE for. Not holding out for the promise of God, the blessings of God that He is leading us to, if we just will trust and obey Him. If we will lay down our desires and seek God's desires. If we will just follow Him. He will lead us to the promised land. God's plans for us, His will for us is so much greater than anything we could ever fathom for ourselves. Do you want what you think is best? Or do you want God's best?!!!
Don't set up camp in the wilderness! Follow God to the promised land...
Wholly follow Him!
He is faithful and oh, so worthy and His perfect plan for your life will far surpass your wildest dreams...


(I have been thinking of these scriptures and their truth..... Holy Spirit checked my heart as to what I shared above..... yes, it is true. However I was remiss, for I only painted part of the picture...... I need to take it full circle. While what I said is true, it only shows one side.... Our side, and God's blessings for us..... His perfect will for us. However, even more importantly it is a way for us to bless God. To walk by faith, to obey Him, to journey deeper and deeper in our relationship with Him, from glory to glory, all for God's GLORY! It is a way for us to witness to others of Who God is. Of His love and faithfulness..... it is an opportunity as we persevere to press on in the strength of the Lord for others to ask us the reason for our Hope...... an opportunity to share our reason... JESUS! God will bring people into your path that do not know this Hope.... this Savior, this agape love of God. It is an opportunity to shine bright in, and through Jesus Christ.... the reason for our hope.
God's Speed on your journey to the promised land.....)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Oh, that I may touch the hem of Your garment and be healed, Oh, Lord....

Heal me Lord Jesus......
Oh, God...... deliver me from this disease of self and distraction that gnaws away at my time, that devours my days, that leaves me with but crumbs to offer You my God and my King. Forgive me Father for putting You, my First Love last...... Change my heart oh, God.... fan the embers burning inside of me until they become an All Consuming Fire! Crucify my flesh Lord Jesus.... refine my heart, burn away the dross and leave only the finest silver that shines bright of the Son of Man's glory...... that only You, living in me is left.
That I may be a witness of Your glory, of Your might, of Your love, of Your salvation.
Change me oh, God..... How I let You down, day after day as I serve the deeds of the flesh. The more I get lost in me the farther You seem to be.... yet I know that I am Yours.... bought with the price of Your blood. I know that I am forgiven.... though my sins are as scarlet You wash them white as snow..... Thank You Jesus that I am forgiven. Thank You Jesus that You are able to shine through me in spite of me.... Thank You Jesus that Your love for me never ceases. Thank You Jesus that You are bigger than me. That You have a plan for me... to serve You, to glorify You, to share the good news of You through me..... Use me Lord..... Here I am Lord, send me....
Open my eyes each day, each moment as to what You would have me do. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit, with fresh oil that I will see where You are working and how I might minister to those around me. Check my heart when there is an opportunity to share Your truth, Your love, Your salvation, to share You with someone. Whether they be my husband, my child, my friend, or a stranger. Give me a boldness to share Jesus with all I meet.... with a kind word, a warm smile, words You would have me share with them. With a hug, with giving my last cent, with a sacrifice of time or a job that need to be done. Open my eyes Lord to the work You long to do through me.... Help me to walk by faith..... in the Spirit. Not by might, not by power, but by My Spirit says the Lord.....
Lord, God... I hear You calling.... direct my path. I want to live for You oh, God. For Your kingdom. The time is growing short. There is so much work to be done. The harvest is plenty but the workers are few. Use me up Lord...... until all that is left is YOU!
Break down the damn I have built inside my soul........ let Your living water flood through me..... that I may be a messenger of the Hope that is in You Jesus.... OH, how my heart breaks for the lost. For those who have fallen pray to the father of lies, to the defeated one..... to those who have hardened their hearts against You oh, God. Have mercy upon them just as You have with me. Forgive them Lord, change their hearts. Break them if You have to. For in those times of brokenness we often find ourselves at the foot of the cross.... at the feet of our God, reaching out, calling out to You for Your mercy and grace. In those time of brokenness we discover that YOu have been there all along.... with arms outstretched.... heart wide open..... waiting for us..... longing for us..... calling out to us to come home.... to receive Your gift of forgiveness.... all we must do is confess that we have sinned against You. That You are God and that You alone bore the price for our sins on the cross..... That You alone Jesus rose again that we may be forgiven and be born again.... adopted into the family of God All Mighty. You are holy Lord. You alone are worthy of all praise. Oh, the wonder of it all that You gave Your life for us. That You love us with a love that is pure, undefiled, and unbreakable. That You left the throne room of heaven to live a humble life. To be beaten, blasphemied, mocked, spit upon, whipped and crucified... that You died that we might live..... Open their hearts Lord, Jesus that they will love You. Open their eyes that they will see You. Open their ears that they will know You. Open their minds that they will receive You. That none should perish. That through You we are made holy....

"Ho! Everyone who thirsts,
Come to the waters;
And you who have no money,
Come, buy and eat.
Yes, come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without price.
Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefull to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live;
And I will make an everlasting covenant with you-
Isaiah 55:1-3

Purge my home, my heart, my mind, my life from all that is keeping me from serving my purpose, all that is keeping me from serving YOUR purpose.... from all that is keeping me from loving you with all of me....
Oh, that I may touch the hem of Your garment and be healed, Oh, Lord...