We search for the answers..... for God's answer.... yet so often we run in circles, like a cat chasing it's tail.... more and more frantic trying to get THE answer we seek... But Jesus is faithful.... merciful and oh, how He loves us..... He is patient and long suffering.... He tried to speak to my heart, mind and spirit yesterday through my Pastor, his wife and my dear friend Aida.... oh, I didn't want to hear. I had plans to serve the LORD! BIG PLANS! Aida said more than once as she loved me enough to share Godly council with me, "I know this is not what you want to hear." But, my spirit was gently telling my weeping heart (literally) to listen.... she does truly understand your heart's desire to serve... she isn't saying that He isn't going to send you, that this desire isn't from Jesus.... she is saying the time is not now that He is sending us to China or anywhere.... the time is now to minister to my husband and children and to listen to HIS guidance for how He would have me serve Him each day. My flesh with all of it's good intentions (HA!) was kicking and screaming..... "No, No I MUST serve the Lord! I must share the Good News!" But when it is contrary to His timing, to the plan He has for you in this moment.... then it does not glorify Him, it does not please Him, it does not serve Him. It is an act of rebellion and that is from the pit of hell.
Soooooooooooo this morning as I TOLD my flesh that I was going to spend time with the Lord before anything else. I opened my Bible and my devotional "My Utmost For His Highest" with great anticipation.... knowing He was going to meet me there.....
I opened my Bible to Numbers 14 where I had left off.... I found my story written on it's pages.... I have grand plans and desires... I believe they have been placed in my heart and spirit by the Lord. But all I see are these "giant" obstacles keeping me from reaching the promised land.... I become so discouraged and think it is IMPOSSIBLE! Then I am humbled as He reminds me that He is GOD! That He spoke the world into existence.... nothing is Impossible with God. So, I once again say with fervor, "Yes, Lord." in my zeal and my desire...(notice all the my s) I see my goal.... the mountaintop. And I forge ahead! Numbers 15:44 But they presumed to go up to the mountaintop. "Thank You Jesus for gently reminding me this morning that we can not reach the mountain top with out You." How our flesh can convince us that we can is truly amazing.... for You are our mountaintop.... there simply is no mountaintop with out You.
Now I turned to my devotional which I rarely read... but when I do He is faithful to meet me where I am... I just knew He would speak to me.... this is what He said,
My Utmost For His Highest July 28
After Obedience- What?
"And straightway He constrained His disciples to get into the ship, and to go to the other side..." Mark vi. 45-52
We are apt to imagine that if Jesus Christ constrains us, and we obey Him, He will lead us to great success. We must never put our dreams of success as God's purpose for us; His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have an idea that God is leading us to a particular end, a desired goal; He is not. The question of getting to a particular end is a mere incident. What we call the process, God calls the end.
What is my dream of God's purpose? His purpose is that I depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay in the middle of the turmoil calm and unperplexed, that is the end of the purpose of God. (I have a long way to go to be this!) God is not working towards a particular finish; His end is the process- that I see Him walking on the waves, no shore in sight, no success, no goal, just the absolute certainty that is is all right because I see Him walking on the sea. It is the process, not the end, which is glorifying to God.
God's training if for now, not presently. His purpose is for this minute, not for something in the future. We have nothing to do with the afterwards of obedience; we get wrong when we think of the afterwards. What men call training and preparation, God calls the end.
God's end is to enable me to see that He can walk on the chaos of my life just now. If we have a further end in view, we do not pay sufficient attention to the immediate present: if we realize that obedience is the end, then each moment as it comes is precious.
Sooooooooo.... Do I believe He is calling my family to the mission field? "Yes." Can I get us there? "No." I cannot reach the mountaintop with out Him! So, my aim is to walk with Him daily.... to ask Him to open my eyes to how I may serve Him "this"day....I do not want to loose any more todays wishing for or worrying about tomorrow... and I need to wait upon the Lord to open the doors of the mission field. His words to me.... "Peace, be still......"
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9 comments:
i needed this today ... i have been sad for my babies in Ethiopia today ... i got a list of 3 sibling groups and just weep at the tought of them not having a family ... they are not meant to be mine, but i do know the Lord loves them far more than i ever could ... thanks for a real, honest, biblical word sister !!!
Your undying faith is so uplifting. I always walk away from here feeling warm all over. Thank you friend.
Rony
Wow...that was SOOOOO good.
Definitely a wonderful word - one that I'm sure we ALL struggle with on a daily basis.
But, it is so true. Thank you for sharing it here. (I had a feeling you had posted something here that would speak to me tonite.)
Thank you, Daleea.
Oh Daleea Your heart is so pure.
I truly believe He put these desires in your heart and the time will come. Each day as you seek more of Him and draw nearer to Him, He will draw nearer to you.
This was such a good post.
Thank you for sharing we all needed it. I think it goes along so much with what Gwen shared the other day about this day is the day we need to focus on. He did not create us to worry on tomorrow.
I thank you so much for being my friend.
Love
Connie
Daleea,
How often I too, have been afraid because there were giants in the land!May God continue to whisper to your heart as he prepares the way.
xxamy
Daleea,
We are going through very similar experiences and we are both receiving the same end message. God Bless you my friend. I will pray for you. I know exactly how you feel. What an amazing post for me to be able to read. It spoke to my spirit. Thank you.
Daleea,
We are going through very similar experiences and we are both receiving the same end message. God Bless you my friend. I will pray for you. I know exactly how you feel. What an amazing post for me to be able to read. It spoke to my spirit. Thank you.
I was brought here today for a reason.....sigh....I needed to read this....needed ro be reminded that God does have a plan for our family....I just need to trust in Him and know that He will make it clear when His timing is here.
Thank you Daleea....your love for the Lord is so pure....
Hugs,
Steffie
What a wonderful post, I could really relate. I've often said in my Bible group that the idea of sitting in suburbia with a mortgage, cars, "easy life" makes my stomach turn...not where there is suffering, countries in need of voluntary workers, the Lord's countries to explore. I often feel very ill at ease about all this and worried I won't accomplish it, this post has given me hope. Thank you.
I know that with God's help we can all leave what the world tells us we "need" behind us to answer various callings! It will happen for you. I've often thought of you doing something like running a small family foster home in China.Just think you'd be close enough to Russia to show Nicholas his country too. God does have a plan!
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